Marriage
If you are planning your wedding and considering St Martin’s, Ruislip, as a place to seek God’s blessing upon your marriage then ‘Congratulations’!
At St Martin’s we take the preparation of those seeking a church wedding very seriously. If you are not already members of the community here, we would hope and expect you to strongly consider becoming so. We look forward to working with you as you plan your wedding day and the rest of your married life together – and we will aim to support you not only in the short-term, but also in the medium and long-term if, after your wedding, you remain in the parish.
Marriage Preparation
A wedding day is a few short hours – but a marriage is a lifetime together.
Alongside the lavish preparations you will be making for your ‘big day’, you will be expected to attend our Wedding Preparation Evening where the significance of Christian marriage is stressed and practical advice is given from, typically, a GP, an accountant and a solicitor. This will also be an opportunity to meet the Parish Clerk, who will ensure we have recorded your details correctly and arrange for your Banns of Marriage to be called in church. We will also expect that you will attend marriage preparation meetings with the member of the Clergy who is to conduct your wedding. As part of these meetings, you will receive further instruction and guidance and make decisions about the resources open to you, such as your choice of music, readings, prayers and flowers for your Wedding Service.
Underpinning the advice given at these meetings are the convictions that a good marriage depends on the ability to communicate well, to exhibit flexibility, to be aware of strengths and potential weaknesses in your relationship, to have shared values and to address differences and conflict effectively.
Marriage and the Law
In order to be married in any Parish Church in England you have, by law, to meet certain requirements – which concern your status as a baptised person, your resident status in the UK, your place of geographical residence and/or the place where you habitually worship. There are also considerations which are relevant to those who have been married before. In accordance with the regulations of the Bishops of the Church of England, the normal practice for those who have been divorced is for there to be a blessing in church following a civil wedding.
Before you do anything else you should make an appointment to see the Vicar. He will explain the law as it applies to your marriage and will discuss the possibilities of either a Wedding Service in church or Blessing after a Civil Marriage, depending upon your circumstances. Whichever is possible, St Martin’s Church aims to support and encourage you as a couple as you begin your married life together.